How to Eat a Mango

Alternate title: Reason #2435876 Why I Am a Gringa

If you know me, or especially if you have ever lived with me, you may know that I sometimes spill food while eating. Let's be honest, by sometimes, I mean all the time. I rarely eat a meal without getting some part of it on myself, my clothes, the table, the floor, etc. For this reason I always carry around a Tide to Go pen and like to keep a constant supply of napkins at hand. You may be wondering, "Did this girl's parents not teach her to use a fork?" Why yes, they did. In fact, I have not always been a messy eater. I'm not sure what happened between then and now but the fact is that spilling food everywhere is currently part of my daily life. And it's hilarious.

Given that I already have difficulties eating like a normal person, you can only imagine how difficult it is for me to eat a whole mango. First of all, I had never eaten a whole mango before coming to the DR, only nicely sliced pieces that I could easily spear with a fork. So when one of my coworkers brought fresh mangoes from her mango tree to the office for everyone, I knew I was in for it. Long story short, after eating our mangoes my coworkers stood there with slightly sticky hands while I sat there staring at a desk, a plate, my own hands, my shirt, and about 1.5 billion napkins, all covered in mango. And it was hilarious.

The mango I ate, from someone's tree at home, is on the right.
The one on the left is normal sized from a store/street vendor.

So later in the week the same coworker brought mangoes from her tree and decided to teach me how to eat a mango. Because I clearly needed teaching, it was that ridiculous. She taught me how to peel it properly, how to cut out the bad parts, and how to avoid getting it all over yourself. By the end of my second Dominican mango, I had managed to forgo the plate and desk, spared my shirt from destruction, and limited myself to only two napkins! Such progress! My coworkers still made fun of me, but I claimed that I kept getting the exploding mangoes and that's why it was so messy. If only that were a legitimate excuse! I'll just have to keep practicing...